What Winter Took, What Spring Gave

Behind the scenes, I accidentally took a 2-month hiatus from sharing personal updates. There were trainings, family plans, and just life happening.

There was death too. In the cold of winter, our family cat Dolly became unexpectedly sick and died. Three days later, my mom’s best friend Sudu—who was like an aunt to me—passed away as well. My dad had also passed away during this exact time 4 years ago.

^{Dolly with our son, only a couple days from when she passed}

Only a month before, Dolly had cuddled and purred against my son while he was sick with the flu (I even posted about it here). Sudu was also someone who nurtured and cared for us in unique ways. She owned a posh clothing store in Chicago and would gift us things like cashmere sweaters. I still wear one of them to this day.

All of it together has made me think a lot about how brief our time here really is.

It also reminded me of a post I shared a while back about the frequencies of death. Some research suggests that even after the heart stops, the brain briefly surges with gamma brain waves—the highest measurable brain frequency. Gamma is associated with memory, meditation, and heightened awareness. Researchers described it as if the brain were replaying life in those final moments.

A kind of last burst of consciousness before entering into the ether.

A few days after Dolly died, we walked into a random bookstore. The first book we saw on the shelf was titled Goodbye Dolly.

Candice and I were both stunned. “Oh my god,” we both said.

A second later, our kids started swirling around us - laughing, shouting, pulling us in different directions. Life rushing forward again.

So we just leaned into it. Into the next moment, and the next season.

Last week, I woke up to 85-degree weather here in Los Angeles. In March. The air felt alive again, and I felt that same buzz of life in my body.

And I’m grateful to be able to say that.